She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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