i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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