Im at strip club and am horny
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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