My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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