So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Randomize
