please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
