You can't special order awesome
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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