All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
