i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
