Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
tell me about the eggs
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
