i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
