My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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