so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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