I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
