I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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