oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
