I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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