She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
