They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Randomize
