big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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