i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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