i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
