My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
