If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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