the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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