i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
