I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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