OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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