Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My liver just had a heart attack.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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