Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
