And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
