WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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