it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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