his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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