Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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