That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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