I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
