I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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