I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
