I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
