Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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