This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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