A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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