i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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