her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
this boner is exhausting
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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