so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
