Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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