apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
