Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
