i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
