What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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