He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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