I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
