Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So much Jack, so little girl.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
