worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
