At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
