I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company