I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
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he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
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I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.