I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"