Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
where are you?
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.