don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Let's get the cat blown out
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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