Where did you get a picture of my penis
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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