I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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