Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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