She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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