I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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