Dual....:-)
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
