sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
