Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
